Category: Humor and Weird Wilson-isms Page 33 of 36

In the spirit of her full-length book “Laughing through Life” that featured humorous stories of child-rearing and general life, Connie has written humor columns for a variety of newspapers, which Erma Bombeck’s widower described as being very much like her columns when presented with a book at an Ohio writing festival.

Chicago, IL, August 25, 2011 Colin Quinn, who spent 5 seasons as a cast member on “Saturday Night Live” has brought his one-man show “Long Story Short” to Chicago from the Helen Hayes Theater on Broadway and the Bleecker Street Theatre (Off-Broadway), where his one-man show played on August 25, 2011 at the Broadway Playhouse near Water Tower Place. The material involves a history of the world not unlike the one-man show Eddie Izzard used to perform (only not as funny) and is billed as “directed by Jerry Seinfeld,” a plot which has to help ticket sales. (There’s not a lot of Seinfeld-ian moments that show Jerry’s golden touch.) And, as noted by a different New York reviewer, Quinn, although a seasoned performer, seemed a bit uneasy on stage and did not interact well (or at all) with his audience.

Quinn always had a somewhat sarcastic personality on “SNL.” I don’t remember him doing much physical humor. His overview of the world, purporting to show how “the world has changed, but humankind has not” was improved by lighting designer Howell Binkley and production stage manager Daniel J. Kells, (among others.)

In other words, rather than come out onstage and stand there alone with a microphone, no props, and do jokes as most stand-up comics must, Quinn has chosen to perform amongst some prodigious props: a set that consists of an elaborate set of gold steps and pillars and a plasma screen that shows images of various countries and cities throughout history, which the comic then attempts to smoothly craft into a comedy routine. Covering all of history in 75 minutes can’t be easy. At the end of 75 minutes, I felt as though the reason the audience (which was on its feet) got no encore is that Quinn had no more material to share. And what about the material he did share?

Quinn had a few worthwhile one-liners, most of them courtesy of the Greeks. “An unexamined life is not worth living,” is followed up by “An examined life is not that interesting, either.” Timely comments about the stock market and the Greeks invention of theater follow. [To hear Quinn tell it, the Greeks only invented theater so that they could diss their neighbors with impunity; then their kids got hooked on it (television analogy)], which was followed by another classic rip-off: “I know now that I know nothing.” (Sophocles). [There’s no joke there, but that’s fairly representative of much of the show.

Yes, there are some funny throwaway one-liners and nobody knows how tough it is to write 75 minutes of onstage (or offstage) funny better than me (“Laughing through Life” is my latest book-length attempt at humor, and there’s an earlier book as well). So I’ll give him credit for making a good attempt, but I just kept thinking of Eddie Izzard’s brilliant HBO Special and, frankly, Eddie Izzard’s brilliant show is a hard act to follow by a less-talented mere mortal, who seems to be just a regular guy who likes to crack wise a lot and is not wearing attention-getting women’s clothing while delivering his set.

Quinn, a Catholic by birth, referenced going to Confession in a dark booth and likened it to “telling your secrets to a man who might have a poster of Justin Bieber on his wall.” He suggested that, given the Catholic Church’s recent troubles with pedophile priests, “They could lose the kneeling for a couple of years until things calm down.” At this point, Quinn was actually kneeling onstage. This foray into physical humor was atypical. Quinn isn’t really the kind of guy like the late great Richard Pryor or the current Dane Cook who does much physical humor. When he does, it seems rather forced and unnatural. It’s not his forte, and it showed, as when he referenced people who scratch themselves or poke you while you’re talking to them.

During the 75-minute act (no intermission), which began promptly at 7:30 p.m. and ended just as promptly at 9:00 p.m., with no encore, Quinn pretty much hit all of the past and present hot-spots in the world: Greek, Rome, Spain, England, Ireland, Israel (“Shalom means hello and good-bye because the Jews, wherever they go, get chased out immediately.” Made me wonder about Hawaiians, and “Aloha,” which also has that distinction). Holland, the Mayans, the Aztecs, Russia (“experts at perfecting depression”), Sudan, Canada (“Nobody wants to live there. There’s something about Canada that creeps people out. It’s like it’s 8 inches to the left. Even their national anthem is dismissive: “Oh, Canada.”)…Most of the world comes in for some comic jabs.

With lines (re the Australians) like “God bless those alcoholics…There are 6 planets closer to us than Australia is right now” and comparisons of the world today to a bar at 3:30 in the morning (“Iraq is in the parking lot. He says he has a gun. He’s talking shit!”) and ripping off those oh-so-hilarious Greeks time and time again (“We are what we repeatedly do,” Aristotle), Quinn has woven a Cliff’s Notes, or, in this case, a Quinn’s Notes version of history that has its moments.

Just not enough of them.

Checker Cab Limo Making Cross Country Trip

By Connie Wilson

On August 21, 2011

In Humor and Weird Wilson-isms, travel

Checker Limo in Chicago.

An uncle and nephew duo driving a Checker cab limo (25 feet, 8 doors) from California to New York visited me in Chicago, where I turned over the “keys to the condo” to the pair, so that they could enjoy Chicago Saturday, Sunday, Monday, leaving on Tuesday for Kalamazoo, Michigan, where the yellow vehicles used to be made.

George, 62, said that this particular car had been built in something like 1959 and that the vehicles were used as cabs in Alaska, where he first saw them. He was smitten with the idea of purchasing one and finally found one at an old car dealer’s in California, where the duo flew to retrieve the massive automobile and begin making a cross-country trek. I think I got into the act, somehow, because I had made the “Ghostly Tales of Route 66” trip along Route 66.

Patrick, me, and a Checker Limo.

At any rate, it was great fun meeting and greeting George and Patrick and their huge and hard-to-park car. It wasn’t too difficult figuring out where to put George and Patrick, but the car was an entirely different matter!

The Kalamazoo, Michigan paper did a story on the pair, since the cars used to be built there. I called the Chicago “Tribune” but they were underwhelmed with the story and photo op. Not me, though. I haven’t had this much excitement since I did the Oscar Mayer WeinerMobile story!

Two nice new friends who, I hope, had a great time in the Windy City.

Checker Limo Makes Cross-Country Trip

Spider Monkey Alert!

By Connie Wilson

On August 9, 2011

In Humor and Weird Wilson-isms, travel, Uncategorized

A close girlfriend, just returned from a 3 month visit to France, explained how her basic sense of honesty caused her to declare that she did, in fact, have a “food item” in her luggage at customs in Minneapolis. The food item in question was a sealed can of pate someone had given her as a parting gift.

She was ushered into a large room with various peoples who also had “food items” and got to watch surly customs agents launching various fruits and vegetables at bins along the wall for hours. Add to that the delights of experiencing a drug-sniffing dog! After the first “food room,” there was (apparently) a second food room and, well, the connecting flight didn’t allow for hours spent watching surly customs inspectors launch miscellaneous fruits at garbage bins.

When it finally came time for her to “declare” the precise food item she had, the customs agent just grunted and passed her on through…too late to make a connecting flight to Des Moines, I think.

Reminds me of the time we were asked, when re-entering the country from Cancun, if we had had any contact with “livestock” and I truthfully piped up, “What about the spider monkeys that climbed all over us at Coba?” Despite my husband’s best attempts to muzzle me, much merriment ensued. These are the sorts of adventures I relate in “Laughing through Life” because, really, you have to laugh or else you’d cry.

“It Hurts All the Way to God”

By Connie Wilson

On August 4, 2011

In Books, Humor and Weird Wilson-isms, Of Local (Quad Cities') Interest

"Laughing through Life:" enough laughs to keep you from yawning.

With the recent release (as a paperback) of “Laughing through Life” and the various anecdotes that make up this stroll down memory lane, I felt it apropos to share with you an amusing anecdote that is similar to those in this book

Here’s a new one for you. My nephew’s 4-year-old daughter, Sophia, decided to do a header by shoving her tiny body through a play tube that was never meant to hold a 4-year-old. She did a tremendous “clunk” to the floor below, where she immediately moaned and began crying. (Fortunately, she landed on a carpeted surface).

Her father and mother, Chris and D.J., ran to her side and asked her if she was “Ok” and did it hurt.

She was crying intermittently and then looked up at us and said, “It hurts all the way to God.”

[Out of the mouths of Babes. OR from “Laughing through Life!” (Try it, you’ll like it!)]

“Hell” – Explanation by a Chemistry Student

By Connie Wilson

On August 4, 2011

In Humor and Weird Wilson-isms, Of Local (Quad Cities') Interest, Pop Culture

Supposedly, what follows was an actual answer to the question on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which I now present for your reading pleasure:

“Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?”

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant thereof.

One student, however, wrote the following:

“First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving Hell. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving Hell. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately, as souls are added.

This gives us 2 possibilities:

1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So, which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, “It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that she slept with me last night, then Number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore, extinct…leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a Divine Being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, “Oh my God!”

[The student received an A+.]

“Laughing through Life” Nearly Ready for Kindle Launch

By Connie Wilson

On June 20, 2011

In Books, Humor and Weird Wilson-isms, Local

I copied the column below from the archives of www.blogforiowa.com. It will appear within a new Kindle offering that will go up very soon on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. The title of the book is Laughing through Life, and it chronicles funny stories from my first years as a young wife, mother and teacher, on through the following of the presidential candidates in 2004 and 2008 and up to the present. When it appears for sale, I’ll be sure to let you know. For now, enjoy this “sneak preview” of one of the offerings within it. (And if you want to see the original picture of Al Franken and me, check the archives of www.blogforIowa.com.

Keynote Speaker – Al Franken

AND YOU ARE THERE!

”A Mush Mute, a Big Hat and a Plum”

Just a few comments about the October 16th Jefferson/Jackson (2004) annual Democratic dinner at Veterans’ Memorial Auditorium in Des Moines.

1) The acoustics at Veterans’ Memorial Auditorium suck.

2) Because the acoustics suck, the large TV screens have captioning. The captioning must be done by a machine. This can lead to much merriment. Especially if you have made it your goal, after at least three hours of waiting, to obtain and consume a minimum of three glasses of white zinfandel prior to Al Franken’s appearance.

3) “Ed is the Governor of Pencil.” I think the machine MEANT to say that Ed is or was the Governor of Pennsylvania.

4) The word “Dear” is listed as “Deer.”

5) The machine cannot make up its mind whether the choir of Gospel Singers is from the Maple or Elm Street Missionary Baptist Church Choir. At this point, the machine is introducing various tree types. Things are very confused.

6) We are asked to join hands with the person next to us. The person next to me, on my right, is Thomas Fischermann, Economic Correspondent for the German weekly “Die Zeit.” I tell Tom that holding hands in this fashion in America means that we are now legally married. Tom tells me that he knows this isn’t true, as he was raised Catholic. I admit that I lied (which is more than I can say for George W. Bush). Tom turns out to be a delightful seat-mate for the dinner, which we are not eating.

7) At one point, after the droning of fully two dozen would-be Democratic candidates, none of whom any of us knows, Tom says he might have to go back to his hotel room and watch Al (Franken) on TV. (He doesn’t.) He is disappointed that Sharon Stone isn’t going to appear (aren’t we all?) I ask Tom whether he thinks Vanessa Kerry is wearing nylons. He is too much of a gentleman to comment. Oh, those European men. Especially those who had English teachers from Wisconsin.

8) After about 2 hours of the droning and bellowing (the sound system is REALLY bad), I say that it is going to be my goal to drink three glasses of white zinfandel before Franken takes the stage. I am actually doubting that Franken will EVER take the stage. This turns out to be a really bad plan. Why? I have taken my college roommate as photographer-in-residence, and, when I put my camera and the wine glasses (small plastic cups at $5 a pop) on the floor, she accidentally kicks a glass of white zinfandel over my camera and it completely soaks it. Thomas rescues the camera from the ever-widening pool of wine. The strap is soaked and the lens is “cloudy.” I do not get one single usable picture from my trusty Canon after the unfortunate wine incident, henceforth known as “Zinfandel-gate.” As I did manage to secure two glasses of zinfandel prior to Zinfandel-gate, I don’t care. Later, I will rue the day. Or night.

9) To my extreme left is “Jane,” correspondent for “People” magazine. She is covering the candidate’s children for a story. Jane is very nice. She is dressed in black. She would like some food. We do not get any food. We would not get anything to drink, either, if I hadn’t made the infamous “Zinfandel-gate” run. (*Kids: Take note! Do NOT try this at home!)

10) Other errors on the sub-title machine that amuse me: “Fill” for a candidate whose first name is “Phil.” “He is a man of grass.” (This may actually be accurate; we don’t know. Perhaps he meant that “W” is an *ss? Or a man of *ss? Very confusing. Don’t know; can’t tell you.)

11) When someone says, “The future of this country is at stake. The future of the world is at stake,” Thomas leans over and says, “The sky is falling.” I laugh. Perhaps I should write this down? Again, don’t know; can’t tell you.

12) More machine sub-title errors: for “pirate suit,” (which is connected to Al Franken’s remarks about George W. Bush wearing a ridiculous flight suit with a huge cod-piece on his now-infamous “Mission Accomplished” battleship appearance). The machine spells out: “pie rat.” Perhaps this machine is smarter than anyone realizes.

13) Other errors that I cannot explain, from the sub-titling machine: “sash and acute” (?) “A mush mute, a big hat and a plum.”

14) I enjoyed Al Franken’s remark that, after 9/11, the country was very united. “My college roommate even got out an old T-shirt to wear that touted America. Of course, it took him four hours to white-out ‘sucks.’”

15) What have I learned from this experience? Never trust sub-titling machines. Always trust the German correspondent for “Die Zeit.” He is very knowledgable, very handsome, and we chat at great length about the Diebolt voting machines and the potential for voter fraud in the upcoming election. Please give Thomas a raise; I think he likes Vanessa Kerry, and he will need it to win her heart.

16) Never try to drink three glasses of white zinfandel while simultaneously shooting film and taking notes. But it’s ok to laugh. A lot.

Sarah Palin Documentary Alternative Titles, or “Fear & Loathing in Des Moines”

By Connie Wilson

On June 1, 2011

In Humor and Weird Wilson-isms, Movies, Politics, Pop Culture

It was reported in the Chicago Tribune on Thursday, May 26, that a film about Sarah Palin entitled “The Undefeated” is going to be screened first in Iowa. The Hawkeye state already has a reputation for all things corny, as I well know (being a native), so this seems appropriate.

It seems even more apropos should the Palin person decide to announce she is running for President of the United States. After all, if Donald Trump can (and Pat Paulsen before him), why not Sarah Palin? Why else make a movie about a woman who didn’t even finish out her full term a Governor of Alaska and is now reported to be buying real estate in Arizona?

The film is a 2-hour documentary financed by conservative filmmaker Stephen Bannon. With $1 million and Palin’s help and permission, footage has been obtained (and included) of Ms Palin’s time as a member of the Wasilla City Council. (It was not reported if there was film of her resigning her office as Governor mid-way through her term.)

Besides giving me a “heads up” that I must make it a point to catch this no-doubt Oscar-worthy and eminently objective movie, it set off political pundits at the Tribune to the point that an entire article was devoted to possible alternative titles (tongue-in-cheek). They ran in the Sunday, May 29, 2011 Chicago Tribune, and, quite frankly, they are too good to keep under wraps. Some appeared on various blogs, but I have added quite a few original titles of my own:

Possible Alternative Titles for the Film about Sarah Palin’s Illustrious Political Career:

“All About Sarah”

“Dark Victory”

“Forgetting Sarah Palin”

“Mooseferatu”

“To Kill and Field Dress A Mockingbird”

“Children of a Lesser Todd”

“Children of the Corn Meet Children of the Candidate”

“The Devil Wears Mukluks”

“In What Respect, Charlie Brown?”

“I Can See Russia from my Seat Ringside at ‘Dancing with the Stars’”

“Citizen Vain”

“There Will Be Blood Libel”

“Kiss of the Snider Woman”

“Blazing Prattle”

“South from Alaska”

“Desperately Seeking Syntax”

“From Within Sight of Russia, With Love”

“The Todd Also Rises”

“Mama Grizzly, Dearest”

“Birthers of a Nation”

“Must Hate Wolves”

“Motorcycle Mama”

“Driving Miss Dizzy”

“Death Panel Becomes Her”

“Honey! I Exploited the Kids!”

“No Country for Newspaper Reading Sissies”

“Close Encounters of the Third-Rate Kind”

“Nightmare on Elk Street”

“Belfries Are Ringing”

“The Dumb Luck Club”

“I Know That You Quit Last Summer”

“Gone Is the Win”

“Dancing Toward the Dark”

“When Sarah Met Romney”

“The Shawshank Refudiation”

“Fear and Loathing in Des Moines”

Add your own potential title for the new Sarah Palin movie below.

Car Tire on Lake Shore Drive Is Narrow Miss

By Connie Wilson

On August 14, 2010

In Humor and Weird Wilson-isms, Uncategorized

This is a stream-of-consciousness article, so bear with me.

I was driving in to Chicago (Tuesday) at about 2:30 p.m. and was approaching the city’s heart on LakeShore Drive, near McCormick Place, where there are 3 or 4 lanes going in to the city and 3 or 4 coming out, separated by a short retaining wall.

My peripheral vision is not that great. I am actually restricted on my driver’s license to driving only vehicles “with side mirrors” because I have flunked the peripheral vision test part on the driver’s license eye exam on more than one occasion. I wonder if it is related to cataracts developing around the edges of my cornea?

Regardless of the reason, I saw, out of the corner of my right eye, smoke. I looked over and saw that a car in the far right lane was smoking. It was driving on the axle. And the tire was bouncing across three lanes of busy traffic heading right towards me. I knew that, in order to keep the tire from making contact with my vehicle, a Toyota Prius, I needed to brake hard RIGHT NOW. I prayed that the guy behind me wouldn’t rear-end me (he didn’t). So, the tire missed me by less than six inches, I’d say, and then hit the retaining wall.

I remember thinking: “Oh, oh.”

Rather than rebounding towards me, the tire bounced literally 8 to 10 feet in teh air after hitting the wall and then sailed OVER the wall and continued to bounce its way through the outgoing lanes of traffic. I would have liked to have watched to see what was going to happen, but the traffic was moving at roughly 60 miles an hour, so no deal there, I hope it didn’t cause any accidents for the outgoing traffic.

It made me think of the tire tread that was thrown up and hit my car’s grill, taking out all of the grill-work and tearing the cardboard thing off the bottom of my car that somehow is used to insulate the motor mechanism from the pavement, I guess. St. Christopher has recently been defrocked, but he must have been watching out for me.

What Actors Have Gone Full Frontal on Film?

By Connie Wilson

On July 19, 2010

In Humor and Weird Wilson-isms, Movies, Pop Culture

Viggo Mortensen at the 2008 Chicago Film Festival.

In the 1980 film “American Gigolo,” Richard Gere boldly went where no male actor had dared go before: full monty on film. As Julian Kaye, Richard had a scene standing next to a window in a bedroom (with co-star Lauren Hutton) that started a trend that shows no signs of abating. It was an important moment in cinema: a break-through, baring one’s all for one’s art.
Here are 10 examples of Full Frontal since Richard let it all hang out (pun intended). It does not include those that are closer to porno, like the shower scene in 1980’s “Can’t Stop the Music” with Valerie Perrine (The Village People sang “Y.M.C.A.” in that one, which pretty much tells you everything you need to know about the film’s quality) and it doesn’t include the edited sequence(s) in “Fast Times at Ridgewood High” or the really obscure Dutch film “The 4^th Man” (Paul Verhoeven). The list also excludes “All the Right Moves” (1983) with Tom Cruise and Lea Thompson, where the camera lingered lovingly over the near-naked pair and panned downward.

And, since I’ve mentioned Tom Cruise, it doesn’t include FEMALE full frontal nudity, which has been done to death for years. If it did, I’d be citing “Risky Business” and the scene with Rebecca DeMornay removing her dress to reveal she had nothing on underneath, because Tom was not the one showing skin on the silver screen that time. There was also the overly long “At Play in the Fields of the Lord,” with Tom Berenger wearing almost nothing and Darryl Hannah literally wearing nothing, but I’ve left it off the list, too, because that film about missionaries bringing more than just religion to the poor oppressed natives of South and Central America had Tom wearing almost nothing, but I think there was a loin cloth or some such involved in the scene where he is nearly starkers.

So, who/what are the few, the bold, the Full Monty Minions?

Here are 10 that you can check out at your leisure. In some cases, don’t blink or you’ll miss it/them. Number Ten represents full frontal male nudity, but not from the likes of Tom Cruise or a Richard Gere (more’s the pity).

1) Richard Gere, (1980), “American Gigolo” and “Breathless” (1983)

2) Harvey Keitel, “The Piano” and “Bad Lieutenant” (Harvey took it off so often that, for a while, people were saying that it wasn’t truly an indie film unless Harvey was nude in it. More’s the pity that the actor enjoying nudity so much wasn’t someone a lot more attractive; you almost had to shout “Put it on! Put it on!” from your seat in the audience.)

3) Jason Segel, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”

4) Ewan McGregor: “The Pillow Book,” “Trainspotting,” “Velvet Goldmine,” “Young Adam” (And you thought Harvey Keitel was addicted to shedding his clothes at the drop of a plot point.)

5) William H. Macy, “The Cooler.”

6) Bruce Willis, “The Color of Night” (swimming pool scene)

7) Kevin Bacon, “Wild Things”

8) Jaye Davidson, “The Crying Game” (Is he a he or a she?)

9) Viggo Mortensen, “Eastern Promises” (One of the most horrifying fight sequences ever filmed.)

10) Also, although hardly “star” turns, (which the list above is mainly involved with),

let’s not forget the fat guy in “Borat” (Ken Davitian), the phallic scene in “Boogie Nights” with Mark Wahlberg (no, it wasn’t all real), and the guy offering a beer in “Walk Hard: the Dewey Cox Story.”

So, there you have it: men who will bare their souls…and a lot more…for their art. Actors who have actively stripped to wearing nothing but a smile. Enjoy!

Grant Park, Chicago, on July 9, 2010

By Connie Wilson

On July 10, 2010

In Humor and Weird Wilson-isms, travel, Uncategorized

Grant Park flowerbeds.

When it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, you want to take a stroll to see what is happening in Grant Park, which happens to be in my neighborhood.

Besides gorgeous flower beds, there was a young man preparing to jump over a piece of park equipment on a small bicycle, for reasons that only he could explain.

Beginning of bike stunt in Grant Park.

Bike begins to go airborne.

He had no ramp, but he did have a friend ready to take pictures. I took a few of Trent, attired in his Burt Reynolds shirt, too, as he went airborne with his toddler-sized mountain bike.

Then there was the woman with the fat golden retrievers who, instead of walking the , was actually pushing them in what looked like a baby carriage. (And here I thought when people talked about how you have to “walk” dogs, they meant that the dogs would be actually walking.

And, last, but certainly not least, there was the giant eyeball, a sculpture positioned in Pritzker Park at State and VanBuren that stands 30 feet high and weighs 14,000 pounds. The downtown Chicago Loop Alliance commissioned the sculpture from Oak Park artist Tony Tasset, 49, and he used 24 pieces of fiberglass to produce a giant sculpture based on his own blue eye, but magnified over 1,000 times. The pieces of the sculpture, which was crafted in Sparta, Wisconsin, had to be trucked in on 13 trucks, according to the evening news.