Welcome to WeeklyWilson.com, where author/film critic Connie (Corcoran) Wilson avoids totally losing her marbles in semi-retirement by writing about film (see the Chicago Film Festival reviews and SXSW), politics and books----her own books and those of other people. You'll also find her diverging frequently to share humorous (or not-so-humorous) anecdotes and concerns. Try it! You'll like it!

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John McCain Speaks in Davenport, Iowa at Campaign Stop on October 11th

John McCainRepublican Presidential candidate John McCain visited Davenport, Iowa and held a rally at the RiverCenter at 136 E.3rd St on Saturday, October 11, 2008. It was the day after his Vice Presidential running mate, Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska, was found guilty by a bi-partisan committee in Anchorage (AL) of abusing her power as Governor to have a commissioner fired who refused to fire her ex-brother-in-law, a state trooper.

The rally was scheduled for 10 a.m. and the National Anthem was sung by Nick Boyd of Rock Island, a young student from the Illinois Quad Cities, who did a wonderful job. [His voice has not changed yet, however; one wonders whether that pure high tone will stay with him into adulthood.] Nick had previously sung the National Anthem at a Cubs game.

The stage was decked out with a John Deere tractor to the right, amidst some fake foliage, as Moline, Illinois, in the Quad Cities is the international headquarters of Deere & Company.

I sat on the Press risers next to two sixth grade students from Rivermont Collegiate Prep School whose teacher, Leigh Ann Schroeder (a fifth grade teacher) had engineered press passes for her charges. Madeline Bowman, daughter of Carrie and Jerry Bowman, and Lollie Telleen, daughter of Amy and John Telleen, are two of just 12 students in the prestigious but pricey private school located in Bettendorf, Iowa. They seemed excited to be there and even helped by snapping a photo of me.Connie Wilson

My old boss, Bill Wundram of the Quad City Times wandered by quite late in the game, and, later, said that “they all start to seem the same” of his over 50 years in the news game.

The Blue Devil (Davenport Central) Dance Team did a good job of keeping the crowd amused and occupied while we waited for McCain’s entrance, which was to good effect as the Straight Talk Express drove right into the auditorium, which held about 3,000 faithful fans.

I was very interested to see if there were going to be ugly scenes in this basically polite part of the nation. There was one protester who, at 11:22 a.m., was hoisted onto her male friend’s shoulders and unfurled a banner that read War Is Over. They were promptly escorted out and McCain’s retort was, “There are some people who just don’t get it/.” He went on to say that Americans don’t want to hear us yelling at one another.

Before the rally got started, the Master of Ceremonies had noted that, in 2000, Iowa was lost to the Democrats by 2 votes per precinct. In 2004, it was won by the Republicans by 3 votes per precinct. The message was clear, but the margin, this year, may be quite different.

The backdrop on the stage read, in large white on blue letters: REFORM, PROSPERITY and PEACE. I thought about those three banner words. Palin was brought into the race as an agent of “reform,” and it now looks as though she, herself needs to reform. PROSPERITY? We all wish for prosperity, in the face of the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression. PEACE? Another sigh and another prayer for deliverance.

The music that ushered McCain into the hall was not the usual Country and Western nor the rock-and-roll anthems that some (Jackson Browne, John Cougar Mellencamp, et. al.) have asked the Republicans not to use. It was a rather somber orchestral score, and it led into the remarks that McCain made, such as, “At this time of crisis, we must go to the heart of the problem and, right now, that problem is the housing crisis.”

The Men with the Big Cameras (national media) swept in around 11:10 a.m., but there were fewer of them than at the Cedar Rapids rally and the tripod count was more like 13 than the huge numbers that usually accompany traveling Presidential candidates.

McCain announced, “I’m so happy to be here in the state of Iowa where there are good family values.” Fifteen seconds into his speech, he used his favorite phrase, “My friends.”

McCain: “One thing I hear from America is that they’re angry.” ( I began to question whether this was a wise segue, in light of recent outbursts at other rallies.) “We’ll turn Washington upside down,” said McCain, adding, “I know how to do that” in reference to getting the economy back on track. The GOP candidate went on to say that he would order the Secretary of the Treasury to carry out a home ownership program, to replace high interest mortgages with affordable ones. “There’s so much on the line. The moment requires a government act,” said McCain.

Just before the female protester unfurled her anti-war banner and was unceremoniously hauled out of the hall, McCain said, “Which candidate’s experience in life make him a better leader? In short, who’s ready to lead?” I thought about this and wondered if this statement worked for or against McCain, who does have many years in the Senate—some of them quite contentious— but does not have the global ties that bind Obama, such as ties to Africa and years spent living abroad in the Philippines. Obama is more an “outsider” than Palin, with his birthplace of Hawaii, but he has Midwest roots, courtesy of his white Kansas grandparents.

McCain made reference to earmarks in a criticism of the “$3 million study of the DNA of bears in Montana.” He failed to mention the two weird and expensive earmark studies that Alaskans asked for and got, to study mating habits of crabs, as I remember one of them.

McCain got a big round of applause when he suggested, “Stop sending $700 billion in aid to foreign countries that don’t like us very much.” He also referenced Obama’s “We need a scalpel, not a hatchet” debate rejoinder in Nashville by saying, “Right now, we need a hatchet and a scalpel.”

McCain, again, expressed his capability of “confronting the $10 trillion debt” with his mantra, “I can do that.” He promised to “balance the federal budget before the end of my term,” which seemed very optimistic for any candidate of either party, at this point in time. He offered no specifics.

There were attacks on Obama: “We’ve all heard what he’s said, but it’s less clear what he’s done or what he will do.” He as good as called Obama a liar saying, “I wouldn’t seek advice (in truthfulness) from a Chicago politician.” [Gee, and just when I thought the Republican candidate was going to take the high road for a while, as when he told the misinformed woman in another state at another rally that, no, Obama was not an Arab and expressed admiration for his life story.

At 11:30 a.m. there were shouts of protest from the crowd as McCain spoke of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and accused Obama of remaining silent in reining in their excesses before the crisis and of taking money from these agencies for his campaign. McCain repeated the line accusing Obama of fining employers who don’t put employees in a federal health program he supports, and repeated a line from the Belmont debate, “He won’t specify the amount of the fine for not insuring employers.” Someone shouted out “accountability” at that point. It was unclear whether it was someone who was for McCain or against him.

McCain, again on the attack, went on to accuse Obama of wanting to raise debt by $860 billion dollars.” I swear that the first time he mentioned the figure, he said $850 billion; the next time, it had been raised by $10 billion. (What’s $10 billion or so when we’re dug into debt this deep?)

In his attack against earmarks (federal pork attached to bills), McCain was particularly incensed by Obama’s support for the Adler Planetarium in Chicago, Illinois to receive funding for a new lens. I live across the street from the Adler Planetarium. I am glad they got the new funding, as it is a major tourist attraction in Chicago. After all, Obama is the junior Senator from Illinois, and it makes more sense than either of the earmark programs mentioned previously.

A memorable quote, but one which made me uneasy: “You don’t have to wonder if there will be change if I am elected. You know there’ll be change if I’m elected.”

At 25 minutes to 12 noon, McCain thanked every veteran in the house and added of the many conflicts we are now engaged in (thanks to 8 years of Republican leadership, poor intelligence, etc., which includes Iraq, Afghanistan, et. al.) “I will bring them (our troops) home with victory and honor and not in defeat.” [I immediately thought to myself in alarm, “Unless they’re killed or seriously wounded before the 100 years is up that you have previously said we should stay and fight.”]

McCain vowed to “fight for you and put the government back on the side of the people.” He added, “I know I can inspire a generation of Americans to serve a cause greater than their self-interest.” Again, I wondered whether the next generation will be more inspired by the almost 73-year-old McCain and his Alaskan running mate, or by the 47-year-old Obama and Joe Biden from Delaware.

At 20 minutes of noon, just before the rally ended, McCain made a reference to the United States Naval Academy and there was a huge round of applause and big cheers from behind him. Showing the good humor showcased to good effect on many “Saturday Night Live” appearances, McCain turned and said, “Naval Academy graduates, I guess,” with a shrug.

And then the rally was over and we all exited into the bright, sunny 80-degree weather to find out whether the University of Iowa Hawkeyes would beat Indiana’s football team in their Big Ten contest (they did).

And, soon, we’ll see if the Old Warrior can beat the odds, fend off his Republican ties to the least popular President of all time, and pull out what is now an upset win against the junior Senator from Illinois, AKA “that one,” which state is just across the I74 bridge I took home.John McCain

McCain Says Debates Should be Postponed

John McCain

Today (September 24), John McCain announced that he was suspending his campaign in order to rush back to Washington, D.C., to help solve the nation’s financial crisis. This is a little like sending a pyromaniac into a burning building to put out the fire he started. John McCain was one of the chief voices railing against governmental regulation…until the you-know-what-hit the fan.

John McCain is also the candidate who has openly admitted he “knows nothing about the economy.”[Barack Obama, on the other hand, has 3 former Secretaries of the Treasury advising him and is a Harvard graduate (as compared to McCain’s graduating fifth from the bottom of his class, and that, arguably, only because his father and grandfather were both Admirals.)

Voters on AOL’s main blog, when asked whether it was a good or a bad idea for McCain to suspend his campaign activities, voted 55% no and 45% yes with 303,501 total votes cast at midnight. In regards to postponing the debates, the “no” vote was even higher, with 58% saying “no,” 38% saying “yes” (not people who have bought a plane ticket to fly there to attend, obviously), and 4% saying they were “unsure” with 297,018 votes cast.

It is so patently obvious that whenever the Republicans are struggling in their uphill battle against the facts they either throw the facts, themselves under the bus (or train) or, failing that, they hike off to visit a natural disaster like Hurricane Gustav during the Republican National Convention. This time, rather than weather, they are citing the decline and fall of the American empire (aka, the current budget crisis) in order to avoid doing their debating duty. The rest of the time the Republican Presidential and Vice Presidential are apparently hiding out in Cheney’s bunker or coffin or wherever it is that our current Darth Vader VP keeps his guns, his defibrillator, and himself.

McCain also suggested not having Friday night’s debate, scheduled for the University of Mississippi in Oxford on Friday, September 26th, but postponing it. Barack Obama responded in a Clearwater, Florida news conference, “It’s my belief that this is exactly the time when the American people need to hear from the person who, in approximately 40 days, will be responsible for dealing with this mess.” He added, “It’s going to be part of the President’s job to deal with more than one thing at a time.”

Point well taken. Also, the Commission on Presidential Debates has been working out the details of these appearances for literally months, I know that I have been jumping through hoops along with AC news personnel to attempt to get Press Credentials for the second Presidential debate, scheduled for October 7th, Tuesday, on campus at Belmont University in Nashville, Tennessee, for literally months. If the first debate is pushed back, it will cause a domino effect and all other debates will have to be pushed back, including the third debate set for Wednesday, October 15th on campus at Hofstra University in Hempstead, New York.

I know from my daughter’s firsthand reports that the campus in Nashville has been working on arrangements for this debate for months and months. The place is lousy with Secret Service and the countdown has been going on since the beginning of the school year. It is completely inconsiderate to those organizations, sites and that Commission, as well as unnecessary, for the debates to be postponed or canceled, and it is clearly a political ploy on McCain’s part. McCain is not a particularly skilled speaker, yet he has constantly gone after Barack Obama, claiming that Obama won’t debate him in Town Hall meetings, when the truth is that there have always been three such meetings that an independent commission has been working out the details of for months, and now McCain, not Obama, is the one who wants to torpedo all the hard work that the groups and campuses and Secret Service have put in.

The way in which McCain handled this new idea for weaseling out of debating was particularly unsavory. The two candidates for President had just spoken on the phone and agreed to try to work together for the good of the country in solving the economic crisis and trying to get bi-partisan support for some kind of financial bailout. Then, as Obama put it, “When I got back to the hotel, he (McCain) had gone on television to announce what he was going to do.” Not really the sporting way, is it?

It has not escaped the attention of those, like Senator Harry Reid (D, Nevada) that McCain is trying to divert attention from his fading campaign and the issue on which he is weakest: the economy. Yet Senator Lindsey Graham, McCain’s advisor, announced that he would not attend the debate(s) “unless there is an agreement that would provide a solution” to the financial crisis, and that, furthermore, this solution would have to be publicly endorsed by Obama. Meanwhile, “W” has stepped in to call the two campaigning candidates to the White House to meet and talk and work together for the good of the country. Now I’m really alarmed: the last person I want guiding any kind of solution is the most inept President in history! Give George a pretzel and a beer and let him eat it while trying not to choke, but keep him away from being “the Decider.” Please!

As a person who has already secured lodging, a plane ticket, and all the other things necessary to be in attendance at the Presidential debate on the advertised-far-in-advance date in Nashville in October, I’m opposed to pulling the plug on an open discussion of the very issues we most need to be exposing the American citizens to so that we can safeguard the future of this country.

Al Gore in the Skybox at Invesco Field at Mile-High Stadium in Denver

Al Gore was seated directly behind me (Section 101, Row 35) in the Skybox at Invesco Field at Mile-High Stadium in Denver, Colorado on August 28th, the night that Barack Obama accepted the Democratic nomination for President.

Also visible inside the skybox at various times were Oprah Winfrey, Kanye West and other notable celebrities. In town during the four-day event were Jennifer Lopez, Sean Penn, Cindy Lauper, Ben Affleck and Jennnifer Garner, Steven Spielberg (who I did get a side shot of), Jesse Jackson, Jesse Jackson, Jr., Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., Charlize Theron and her boyfriend, Stuart Townsend, and a cast of literally thousands (delegates, press, volunteers, etc.).

I got to the stadium at 2 p.m. to get a good seat, and it was good enough that the main press officer for the German Embassy was seated directly in front of me and Mo Rocca was within a few yards of my placement.
More pictures to follow
al-gore-2

Bennigan’s in Chicago Bites the Bullet

Bennigan\'s

I walked down to the Bennigan’s opposite the Art Institute in Chicago on Tuesday, July 29th,  planning on having a nice lunch inside this always-busy restaurant, which, I have learned, was, in fact, the busiest restaurant in the entire chain.

Imagine my surprise when, taped to the window (see picture) was a sign that told me it was closed. I haven’t been that surprised since…well, since I drove to Cheddar’s in Davenport, Iowa—another very busy and popular restaurant—and had exactly the same experience.

Bennigan’s filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy on Tuesday (apparently) and closed all 150 of its corporate-owned stores, including the Jewel in its Crown, the Bennigan’s in Chicago at 225 N, Michigan Avenue. The stark sign said it all: “Closed for business as of Tuesday, July 29.”  Apparently even the employees were surprised, because one of them, Caleb Kosek, age 24, had just shown up for his first day of work, only to learn that the Metromedia Restaurant Group, which owned 150 of the cafes (another 140 are franchisee-owned) was now defunct.

Metromedia is owned by a billionaire named John Kluge, but he wasn’t responding to requests for comments on Tuesday. There were lots of Bennigan’s in the Chicago area, but only one (in Elgin) and three in northwest Indiana are owned by franchisees. It is also true that the area around the Art Institute is not exactly lousy with restaurants, so this location was primo.

Other restaurant chains in the “medium” price range are suffering as well, most notably Cheddar’s, mentioned above, Steak & Ale and Village Inn. In the chilly economic climate we are experiencing, people are either eating at fast food chains like McDonald’s or they are eating at home. Ruby Tuesday and Applebee’s stock (I own one share) were trading at their lowest ever, as a result of the glut of restaurants like these and T.G.I.F. abroad in the land at a time when jobs are in short supply, the minimum wage has been raised and food prices are soaring faster than the ice cap is melting.

But watching Bennigan’s on Michigan Avenue and a chain in business since 1976 go belly-up is still painful for those of us with a yen for a MonteCristo sandwich.

John (Cougar) Mellencamp Rocks Chicago on July 22, 2008

     John (Cougar) Mellencamp played to a packed house at Chicago’s Northerly Isle Pavilion on Tuesday night, July 22nd, in the outdoor venue that is just right: not too big, not too small. If the concert is on a Wednesday or a Saturday, you’re also going to be treated to the fireworks from Navy Pier, and it is one of the best concert venues in town, bar none. The “Chicago/Doobie Brothers” concert just a week or so ago was similarly good on a wonderful night for a concert outdoors, rain or shine.
There was a lead-in singer who was a Sheryl Crow wannabee. She was unimpressive, singing a song with a lyric about “taking my joy” (If you want to know who was ‘taking the joy,” it was the singer, whose name was Cindy or Lucinda Williams) and also singing about bumblebees. The crowd did not seem to get in to her set, but, mercifully, it was short.
Then, some comic from Los Angeles came out and wanted to read the crowd a poem. The poem primarily consisted of repeating the lyrics to John Mellencamp’s well-known songs and he was a perfect example of an L.A. Ego Gone Wild. His “poem’:was not good and the crowd wanted him to quit with the pontificating and get off the stage. It soon began to resemble the Apollo Theater talent competition, where those lacking in talent are booed off the stage. It was hard to feel sorry for the guy, though, as he even was in to discussing how tall he is (like anyone cared.)
We were in the bleachers this night. The thing about Northerly Isle is that, in the bleachers, you have plenty of room. On the main floor, they pack the folding chairs in so tight at times that you feel like you’re on a bad airline. I’d rather be in the bleachers, and it has nothing to do with the price of the tickets, although they are cheaper there. There is also a staircase that leads down to the VIP room and to the rest room trailers, which are among the cleanest and best maintained concert rest rooms anywhere. (The worst I have ever encountered were at a Rolling Stones concert in the Metrodome or Hubert Humphrey Dome or whatever it is dubbed in Minneapolis, years ago, which were filthy; that is the inflatable dome that will collapse if everyone leaves at once, supposedly.)
Mellencamp did not disappoint on this balmy spring night, and he sang almost all his hits. He even brought out his 13-year-old son, whom he referred to as “Speck” to play near the end of the show. The only song that this Mellencamp fan did not hear was “Hurts So Good.” He opened with “Little Pink Houses” and closed wth “The Authority Song.”
All-in-all, it was a great concert on a slightly breezy night, but one that seemed to please everyone present (except possibly the guy who tried to read the boring poem that had nothing to do with anything and held up the appearance of the headliner while he hogged the spotlight.)

 

Charitable Posting

   Good friend and Associated Content buddy Tyler Mills, a fellow Iowan (or is it Iowegian?) asked me to post this link, which is a charitable fundraiser. Being the kind, compassionate soul that I am, I said, “Sure.” (I didn’t tell him that nobody is reading this blog, based on the clicks on the ads, which would have been a real downer for us both.)

Prove me wrong about the readership. A couple of you have written some very nice things on my Charlie Crist for VP piece. I’m just surprised that I’m getting these comments now, when I wrote that article months ago, but, hey! Take it where you can get it, right?

Good luck with this charitable endeavor, Tyler, and kudos for “doing the right thing.”

Here’s the link:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/898939/alonzo_mourning_charities.html?cat=48

Pineapple Express Goes Nowhere Fast

“The Pineapple Express” was sneak premiered for members of the Chicago Cinema group, and I was there (on Thursday, July 24th). As Seth Rogan’s new film (“Superbad,” “Knocked Up”) my companion and I had high hopes for humor.

Unfortunately, while there are some laughs to be had, the overall storyline is weak. It has to do with a very rare breed of pot called Pineapple Express, which Seth buys from his dealer, a badly miscast James Franco.

Here’s my question: James Franco, who is a dead ringer for the young James Dean when he is cleaned up (and has played him on film) is cast as the scrungy-looking drug dealer. There would have been comic possibilities in the casting of “McLovin” (from “Superbad”) or, really, anyone who looks “funnier” than James Franco, who merely looks unclean in this film.

Seth Rogan, who is a process server, unwittingly witnesses a murder committed by crooked cop Rosie Perez and her boyfriend, drug lord Gary Cole. He can be tracked because he throws a half-smoked roach out the window of his car, and the Pineapple Express brand of Mary Jane is being sold only by one dealer (Franco) and has been sold to only one customer (Seth Rogan).

The problem is that the movie seeks to be an outright comedy, but there are shootings and deaths galore, which don’t add up to Com-e-dee. There is also one character who is repeatedly shot and yet remains upright and ambulatory. Not only does this defy logic and believability, it isn’t really that “funny.”

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I was disappointed in this new film, because I really loved both “Knocked Up” and “”Superbad.”

Thoughts of the Kevin Costner Variety

 

e_kevincostnerwife_3251Yes, I mean Kevin Costner, the actor best known for his Oscar-winning year with “Dances with Wolves” (1990), which garnered 7 Academy Awards and, according to Kevin Costner in an interview in July 20, 2008 “Parade” magazine, put such strain on his marriage of 16 years (they were wed in 1978) that it collapsed under the strain. Costner had three children with his college girlfriend from Cal State, Fullerton (Cindy Silva):  Anne (now 23), Lily (now 21) and Joe (now 20). Costner also fathered a child out-of-wedlock with socialite Bridget Rooney, a Pittsburgh resident. That child, Liam, is not 11, but the marriage-shy Costner did not tie the knot with the child’s mother.

Then he met Christine Baumgartner, the blonde, younger trophy wife (whom he had met once before on a golf course many years prior when practicing for his role in “Tin Cup.” Baumgartner is 33 years old, to Costner’s 53, and they have been married for four years (2004). They have a son, Cayden, who is one.

So, what pearls of wisdom does the marriage-shy Costner have to share with readers who might miss his Midwest tour with his band? Yes, his band. It seems that old movie stars never really die; they just form a rock band and tour, and that is what Costner is going to be doing with his band, the country rock band Modern West, which will be playing Chicago’s House of Blues soon. (Costner says his wife joins him as often as possible on the road.)

I heard Costner sing in “The Postman” and my Costner fix will have to wait until his latest movie, “Swing Vote” hits theaters on August 1st. To say it was a painful experience to watch (and/or listen) to Costner sing is being kind.

But back to Pearls of Costner Wisdom, and I mean this seriously. The man has given some thought to life and love and one of my favorite quotes from way back when is “Marriage is a tough gig.”

New Pearls of Wisdom are these:

  • “We’re afraid of a lot of things in life. It’s part of the human condition. What do we fear? Love? Failure? Telling the truth about ourselves? I think we don’t show people all we truly are because we’re afraid that if they actually know everything about us, they won’t love us. I’m as guilty of that as anyone.”
  • “Falling in love is a really tricky thing. If you pretend you’re in love when you’re really not, it ends up bloody.”
  • “When I met Christine, I wasn’t prepared to be in loved again. It took me a long time before I said, ‘ I love you’ to her, a long time.”
  • “After my marriage ended, I never dated anyone consistently. I stayed single. When I wanted some company in my life, I was like the classic single guy—who do I love this week, who next week? I wouldn’t even use the word ‘love’ with someone, because that makes things trickier.”
  • “I have never wanted to be afraid in my life, but after my divorce, I was. The pain of that experience had been so strong that I never wanted to go through it ever again.”
  • “Sometimes you learn that the thing you’re most afraid of in life is the thing that will save your life.”

So, those are today’s Costner’s Pearls of Wisdom (courtesy of Dotson Rader’s interview of the 6′ 1″ heart-throb in the Sunday, July 20th, “Parade” magazine. He may not be much of a singer, but he has some experience at living life, and I always look forward to his latest observations on same.

Chicago News and Views

    A quick look at Chicago’s news, where I now report from, tells me that there are some issues in Chicago that have not made the local Quad City newspapers. For instance, there was a shooting near the Taste of Chicago, which Mayor Daley is trying to play down as having had anything to do with that massive annual event. The cab talk is all about whether it will have a negative effect on Chicago’s bid for the Olympics. If the shooting outside Grant Park and off the Festival site doesn’t do it, then will the 10.25% sales tax deter visitors to this fair city?

 

     Another city vignette: a newborn baby boy was found abandoned in the courtyard of an Uptown apartment building at about 2:00 a.m. The 5 lb. Baby boy left in the 4600 block of North Beacon Street inside a grocery bag amid shrubbery was crying to save his life (which it did) in the 70-degree temperature. His body temperature had dropped to 86 degrees in the cool night air and he might not have survived if one of the apartment’s residents had not gone outside to investigate, found the child, and taken it to a nearby fire station. The child had cried for at least two hours before anyone thought to investigate, but it was after 2 in the morning.

      A third interesting story detailed how a Lake Hills man known as Edward F. Bachner IV tried to hire a hit man to kill his wife, after he had taken out a $5 million dollar life insurance policy on her. The odd thing is that the wife didn’t know about the “hit-for-hire” until she found out in court, and the method that the would-be murderer eventually settled on to do her in: Pufferfish.  I just wrote a story entitled “Pufferfish.” Who knew that Pufferfish venom is among the most deadly of poisons? Dr. Frank Paloucek, clinical expert in toxicology, says that the Tetraodontidae family of poisons (specifically, the deadly poisonous pufferfish) “would be a terrible way to die, in my opinion, because you could be very easily conscious at the time you stop breathing. You wouldn’t be feeling that you weren’t breathing, and you would be conscious of it, and you would die because you would pass out. The death is a respiratory death. Your lungs stop working and your brain loses enough oxygen for long enough, and then you’re dead.” Yup. That’ll do it. Stay away from Pufferfish. Edward F. Bachner IV had apparently pretended to be someone who had a legitimate reason for owning pufferfish poison, and he had a bunch of it! He also had 50 knives, garrotes that could be used to choke people to death, a gun, two passports, and a phony CIA badge. Wow! The Pufferfish Conspiracy has made all the papers, and I’m thinking that I was way ahead of THAT learning curve with my little story! Just so you know: “If it was a 220-pound person, you would need one-thousandth of a gram, or one-32,000th of an ounce to kill an adult” with Pufferfish poison. Another wow, there. The reason given? Marine animals have to be far more poisonous than land animals to kill their pretty, because they are operating in 3 dimensions instead of 2. (I’m not sure I understood that last part, but I’m just here to report the news of the day in Chicago by the Lake.)

      There was also a story about a 96-year-old man who has a lot of opinions (Garrison Keillor) and a happy story about a young boy who was lost for hours, but was found unharmed. That, at least, was a “happy” ending.

Ames Professor’s Paper Sparks the Design of the Speedo LZR Racer Swimsuit

Speedo LZR Racer Swimsuit

Speedo LZR Racer Swimsuit

I’m always interested to learn that the Midwest has done itself proud. That would appear to be the case in the very hot topic of the LZR (pronounced “laser” swimsuit designed by Speedo and currently showcased in the June 30, 2008, issue of Newsweek with Cindy McCain on the cover.

The controversy over the swimsuit, made of high-density microfiber and lined with polyurethane panels, which appears to be contributing to a rash of World Records being set by those wearing them, has Iowa roots.

It seems that a professor of physiology at Ames (Iowa State University) named Rick Sharp, a former collegiate swimmer himself, wrote two papers questioning Speedo’s performance claims for the LZR’s predecessor, the Speedo Fastskin suit. Speedo did not take offense at Professor Sharp’s comments, but, instead, called him up in 2004 and invited him to lead a team of outside experts that would design a better suit.

Sharp recalls, in the Newsweek article, “I laughed and said, ‘Have you read my papers?'”

Speedo had, indeed, read Sharp’s papers. They had taken his doubts into consideration and, says Jason Rance, Chief of Speedo’s Aqualab global R&D Center in England, “He was asking all the right questions.”

NASA fluid-mechanics engineer Stephen Wilkinson was also enlisted to use wind tunnels to detect surface friction on spacecraft re-entering Earth’s atmosphere technology to blow air across a variety of fabrics at 63 mph, the simulated speed of a swimmer as fast as Michael Phelps, this year’s American gold medal hopeful.

Samples were stitched together and tried out on Iowa State University swimmers. Says Sharp, “We had one suit that looked great on paper. But then, when we dove into the pool, it ballooned out like a parachute.”

The polyurethane panels that act like a girdle to streamline the swimmers bodies also had to be redesigned so that the girdle structure wasn’t too far up the rib cage, therefore inhibiting swimmers’ breathing.

Whatever the case, the LZR, which had been previously approved for use at the Beijing Olympics, has sparked a storm of protest from competitors, who claim that it constitutes an unfair advantage for other swimmers. The Speedo people, for their part, don’t expect to market many of the $290 a pair men’s jammers nor the $550 full bodysuit. They are meant for true athletes like Phelps and could be considered “the couture version” of Speedo, according to Warnaco Group President Helen McCluskey. The $40 to $78 knock-off versions with stars-and-stripes motifs that will be marketed to little kids: that’s where the market is, with 300,000 kids on swim teams.

Meanwhile, even endorsers of other swimsuits seem to be defecting in droves to the new LZR Suit to get the “rocket” effect that NASA was aiming for. One prominent endorser of a competitor, Olympic medallist Erik Vendt, who previously shilled for TYR, the second-largest U.S. swimwear maker, has switched to the Speedo LZR Racer. A Japanese swimmer under contract to Mizuno just set a world record wearing a LZR. Speedo spent tens of millions developing the LZR Racer over the last four years and, says U.S. swim coach Mark Schubert, “every world record is in jeopardy. The suit is definitely a factor.”

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