Weekly Wilson

Supposedly, what follows was an actual answer to the question on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam.  The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which I now present for your reading pleasure:

“Bonus Question:  Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?”

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant thereof.

One student, however, wrote the following:

“First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.  So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving Hell.  I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.  Therefore, no souls are leaving Hell.  As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.  Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.  With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.  Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately, as souls are added.

This gives us 2 possibilities:

1)  If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2)  If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So, which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, “It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that she slept with me last night, then Number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.  The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore, extinct…leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a Divine Being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, “Oh my God!”

[The student received an A+.]

It Came from the ’70s: From The Godfather to Apocalypse Now is on tour in July and August. Here are the book blogs that will be reviewing “It Came from the ’70s” and when they will have information up about the book:

1)  “Under My Apple Tree” – July 11, 2011

2)  “Dan’s Journal” – July 12 Review. Also a Guest Post on July 13.

3)  “She Treads Softly” (Lori) – July 13 Review and Guest Post on July 14, 2011

4)  “Reading, Reading and Life” – Kendall – July 15 Review

5)  “5 Minutes for Books” – Elizabeth – July 13 Review and July 17 Guest Post

6)  “To Read Or Not to Read” – Marcie – July 18 Review and July 19 Guest Post

7)  “Satisfaction for Insatiable Readers” – Gina – July 19 Review and July 20 Interview

8)  “Books, Books, the Magical Fruit” – Sue – July 20 Review and July 21 Guest Post

9)  “Emeraldfire’s Bookmark” – Mareena’s – July 21 Review and July 22 Interview

10)  “Babbling About Books & More” – Kate – July 25 Review

Check out these varied book blogs to see what these book reviewers thought of “It Came from the ’70s: From The Godfather to Apocalypse Now.”

Three local authors will be signing books in Long Grove during the annual Strawberry Festival, on Sunday, June 12, 2011. The trio will be 2 blocks from the fire station, selling a total of 10 different titles, which range from self-help nonfiction to science fiction to ghost stories set along Route 66.

The 3 local authors taking part in the event are debut author Pauline Marquez, head of last year’s Quad City Book Fair David Dorris, and Connie (Corcoran) Wilson.

Mr. Dorris’ second book, “LIfe Is Too Short” will be on sale, as will titles ranging from “It Came from the 70s: From The Godfather to Apocalypse Now,” “Hellfire & Damnation,” “Out of Time,” “Ghostly Tales of Route 66″ (Volumes I, II and III), and “Both Sides Now.” The authors will also be present at the RME (River Music Experience) on July 30 from noon to 8 p.m. Time frame for tomorrow’s signing is noon to 4 p.m.

I’ve just returned from nearly a week in New York City where I attended the Book Exposition that is the largest in the world and signed copies of “It Came from the ’70s: From The Godfather to Apocalypse Now” from 2 to 3 p.m. on Wednesday, May 25th at the HWA (Horror Writers’ Association) table.

The same day as the signing, I attended the Adult breakfast where Mindy Kahl MC-ed and Diane Keaton was the Celebrity author. The author of “Middlesex” and Charlaine Harris, who created Sookie Stackhouse (of the “True Love” television series) also spoke.

New York Times Best-Selling Author Jonathan Maberry signed before me at the HWA booth, and there was much to admire and browse. No plays this year, but I also attended BlogWorld and a Book Bloggers’ Conference at which Otis from Goodreads was present. A workshop on “Monetizing Your Blog” will help me be a better presented on June 25th during “Blogging for Bucks” at the Midwest Writers’ Center conference.  No wild parties or late nights, but many early mornings and presentations during my week in the Big Apple.

On the way out, I sat next to the parents of a Chicago Sun Times reporter being honored with the Pulitzer Prize for his article on Chicago’s “59 Hours of Violence.” How cool is that? On the way back, I sat next to the new anchorwoman in Sioux City, Iowa and a woman who takes formal portraits of Arabian horses.

Ava (Wilson) and I sign books on October 30th at Barnes & Noble in Davenport's Northpark Mall.

After over 6 years of hard work, 3 publishers, and many other aggravations, my new nonfiction book It Came from the ’70s: From The Godfather to Apocalypse Now is nearly ready. Advanced reader copies have arrived and only Quad City residents will have the opportunity to see the book “up close and personal” at a benefit for the Midwest Writing Center to be held at Barnes & Noble bookstore in Northpark Mall on Saturday, December 4th, 2010, from 1:30 p.m. until whenever everyone else has left. I am arriving late, due to an appearance at the East Moline Public Library that will start at Noon and end about 1:00 p.m….just when the other E.M. authors are arriving. It is always thus.

I’ll be there with copies of my new movie book of 50 reviews written for the Quad City Times between 1970 and 1979, with 76 photos, major cast and trivia.  The book is not self-published, but put out by a small independent publisher in Rhode Island (“The Merry Blacksmith) and you can see  it on Amazon.com with a “peek inside” feature there.

It’s really a sweet book, if I do say so myself (and I do) and, after the appearances at the library and bookstore, I’m going to be traveling with the book to a Family Video store near you.

First appearance will be on Friday, December 10th, from 5 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. I’ll be there signing books and, if you buy one, your name, address, phone number and e-mail will be entered into a drawing for $50 of free movie passes at the local theater of your state (Rave or Escape). The drawing for the winner(s) (one per state) will not take place until just before the Academy Awards (Feb. 27).

Why such a long delay? Because I hope to visit still more Family Video stores after we return from Florida, which will be for 2 weeks in February, before the Oscars.

Other appearances between now and Christmas that will earn you a spot (one entry per book purchase) for the free ticket drawing will be held on Saturday, December 11th, from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. at the Family Video store in Moline (12th Avenue) and Saturday, December 18th, from 1 to 4 p.m. at the Family Video store on North Division in Davenport, Iowa. I have been assured that the video stores, themselves, may have some “specials” for you, as well. So, come on out and get an autographed copy of this unique book for that movie buff in your family.

The book is not (yet) available as an e-book. We’re working on it, but it will not have as many pictures as an e-book, so this is the book you want. Again, take a look at the “peek inside” feature on Amazon.com and you can see, for yourself, the quality of the contents, including about half new articleson movies like “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,” “The Godfather” (1 and 2), the films of Woody Allen, etc. There were so many great films in the ’70s that I can’t begin to list them all here, but the Table of Contents on Amazon will give you an idea.

I will have my other books with me…everything from “Hellfire & Damnation’ (www.HellfireandDamnationtheBook.com) to the three-book trilogy of ghost stories set along Route 66 (www.GhostlyTalesofRoute66.com).

But you can only get the book signed at one of the events listed above, and it is nominated, right now, for 3 awards (to be awarded in late May.)

Drury Design, Glen Ellyn, Illinois

On June 19th, the community of Glen Ellyn had its first book fair. I signed up to participate ($25) and was told (eventually) that my signing spot was the Santa Fe Cafe. I both called and sent literature to Olga Jimenez, the charming owner of the Santa Fe Cafe, a downtown eating establishment that has been written up in “Chicago magazine.

I then set about having myself put on the free “Daily Herald” calendar, saying I would be at the Santa Fe Cafe and I sent some hand-outs to Olga, asking her to post same. She did so on her front door.

Less then a week before the June 19th event, I learned that I was being moved to Drury Designs, a kitchen and bath remodel store on the outskirts of the town. I was to share time/space with a writer of romance novels. I mentioned that Olga and I had already agreed that, since she doesn’t open till 11:00 a.m., I would sign from 11 to 2, rather than 10 to 1, and I was told that I couldn’ t do this because it “wouuldn’t be uniform.”

Actually, many other writers were signing at places around town in connection with the book fair at times other than 10 to 1, including J.A. Konrath, who signed at the downtown pub at night, and John O’Donnell, who had Randy Hundley of the Chicago Cubs come in as a celebrity to help him sell his baseball book.

I also learned that the “keynote” speaker was going to be speaking at a gym, which is not near the downtown, and that tickets were being sold for the speaker. However, none of we less-well-known writers were invited to have a table at the back of this gym while the “keynote” speaker did her thing.

I protested that, having just helped run a book fair in Davenport, Iowa, not having the rank-and-file of writers near the keynote speaker (who is, let’s face it, supposed to be the one who will draw a crowd for the smaller fry) seemed somewhat unfair to those of us stuck in the boonies. And, since I had already made some small efforts to advertise my presence at the Santa Fe Restaurant, moving me at the last minute to a place much further away from the action didn’t seem wise. The response was that the committee wanted to “draw people into the downtown stores.”

I certainly have no argument with drawing people into the downtown stores and I, personally, did my part, buying $80 of dresses for the 17-month old grand daughters, but I do think it (the notice that I must move to a different location than the one I had just told the newspaper) came sort of late in the day, and the reason given (“wouldn’t be uniform”) was bogus.

The romance writer and I saw exactly one woman who was not a committee member, during our 4 hours at the Drury Design, which is a lovely award-winning store. There were 3 other people who came in during the 4 hours, but they had appointments about their kitchen or bathroom remodeling jobs. Jim Drury, the owner of the establishment, was kind enough to buy one thing from each of his 2 authors, which was very nice of him, and I, in turn, said I would post an article about this lovely shop.

I also noted that all 35 to 40 authors could have been fit inside the Drury Design, and the downstairs has a place (separate room) where the keynote speaker could have spoken, although admittedly it is not the size of a school gymnasium. I hope you enjoy the pictures of my set-up inside a kitchen display. The lonely ghost welcomes the readers who did not come to the “Ghostly Tales of Route 66.”

Printers’ Row for the second day (Sunday, June 13th). For the second day, intermittent rain.

My tablemate (Chris Bell) did yeoman’s work, covering for us this morning from 10 to 2. (Yesterday, we did the A.M. shift). Today, we did the afternoon shift, 2 to 6 p.m. 6 p.m.

Stil more rain forced us into Bar Louie twice during the days, which was a small sacrifice. (Great spinach dip).

The ghost books sold well and my roommate and fellow tablemate expressed the opinion that the large wooden thing that says, “Ghostly Greetings” was a good eye-catching prop. (I use it to proop one book up.) If anyone knows where you can buy a more slanted plastic book holder thing, like bookstores use for signings, let me know where to purchase one.

So, next week (June 19th, Saturday), Glen Ellyn Book Fair. I’ll be at Drury Designs (kitchen remodels) from 10 to 1 and then I’m going over to Santa Fe restaurnat at 1:00 p.m. and (hopfully) signing until 2:00 p.m. if Olga Jimenez will allow me o do so.

See you there!

For those of you who don’t read “Vanity Fair,” Christopher Hitchens is a columnist/regular contributer to same. He appeared at the noon luncheon of the BEA (BookExpo America) and mainly recited questionable limericks. I have to give this to him: he knew them from memory. One was a questionable item decrying the clergy for episodes of pedophilia, which I won’t repeat here for fear of offense.

True story, however: as I exited the Women’s Rest Room just opposite the downstairs hall in which the program was to take place, I saw some people entering a stairwell. One of those people, a rather tall gentleman, was holding what appeared to be a REAL drink (and it wasn’t even noon yet) so this caught my eye, and I decided, “Well, that person definitely is in to the sauce already today, and I’ll just follow that group in to find our seats.” I was halfway up the stairwell stairs when we hit the landing and I realized that the rather tall gentleman holding the drink (it was in a wine glass, anyway, and it certainly did not look like iced tea) I belatedly recognized as Christopher Hitchens, the keynote speaker. I remember thinking that it was too bad I didn’t have my camera with me, but my next thought was to exit as gracelessly as I had entered (i.e., stumbling into the wrong stairwell and almost ending up onstage, it would seem).

This sort of thing seems to happen to me a lot. I ended up in an elevator with Mickey Rooney and his 9th? 10th? wife in Washington, D.C. once at a poetry thing where he was to speak. (Actually, he spoke just a little, sat down, and his wife sang. She sings well.) His wife was quite angry with little Mickey (who came up to about boob-level) that he had “gotten on the wrong elevator.” Apparently, there was a “special” elevator for the star speaker, but Mickey—who was then nearing 80 if not already in his eighth decade—had picked the wrong elevator and therein lies my “brush with greatness.”

With Christopher Hitchens, I didn’t really stay in the stairwell long enough to be identified as an interloper and, therefore, was merely an audience member wondering why he just kept repeating limericks, some of them fairly outrageous, and then shared memories of deflowering various male members of Parliament or some such. I grew up in Iowa. I now live in Illinois. I am obviously out of the NYC loop and most of the audience that day, when Patton Oswalt (a comedian) hosted, seemed to be out of the NYC loop, also. I think there were several deep breaths taken by the audience (and deep drinks taken by Mr. Hitchens) before he abruptly exited, stage left (the very same stairwell he came in) to “catch a plane to London.” Ah, the lifestyle of the rich and famous!

In keeping with that lifestyle, I’d like to share with you, with appropriate attribution, Christopher Hitchen’s remarks, as quoted in something entitled “Diary” on page 82 of the July, 2010 “Vanity Fair.” It is just a small part of a longer piece, but, in light of my remarks above, I think you’ll get the general idea, and I won’t even tell you about the time I ended up in the elevator with Jesse Jackson’s entourage inside the Pepsi Center in Denver during the DNC, BEFORE he was accused of trying to purchase Barack Obama’s soon-to-be-empty Senate seat (which he vociferously denied).

Here is the excerpt from Christopher Hitchens’ diary, the very same C.H. with shom I had a “brush with greatness” in the stairwell of the Jacob Javits Center on May 27th,…although I’m sure he never knew I was there:

“There was a time when I could outperform all but the most hardened imbibers, a generous slug or 10 of Mr. Walker’s amber restorative being my tipple of preference.  It was between the Tel Aviv massacre and the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan.  I now restrict myself to no more than a couple of bottles of halfway decent wine for elevenses, and then a couple more as an accompaniment to luncheon, with Mr. Gordon’s gin firmly ensconced in the driving seat for the remainder of the day.  As an enthuisastic participant in the delights of Mr. Dionysus, I offer no apology for passing down these simple pieces of advice for the young.

Never drink before breakfast, unless the day of the week has a “u” in it.  Martinis go surprisingly well with Corn Flakes, while a medium dry sherry remains the perfect accompaniment to Mr. Kellogg’s admirable Rice Krispies.

It’s much worse to see a woman drunk than a man.  I don’t know why this is ture, but it is, it just is, I don’t care what you say, it just is and you can take that from me and anyway that’s not what I said. (*Author’s note: it is what you said, and it’s sexist as hell!)

And finally, if, like me, you are, like me, a professional scrivener, like me, never ever ever drunk while written an article column piece ever.  It is, perforce, something I never don’t.” (As told to Craig Brown and previously printed in “Private Eye”)

Author  to Sign Books in Drury Design  June 19^th from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. During First Glen Ellyn Book Fair

Author Connie (Corcoran) Wilson will be signing 6 of her most recent book releases within Drury Design from 10 a.m. until 1 p.m. on Saturday, June 19^th, as part of the first Glen Ellyn Book Fair. Nearly all of Mrs. Wilson’s books are priced at (approximately) $10, (with the exception of her 80,000 word novel.)  Three  form a trilogy of true ghost stories, including pictures taken during a 2,800 mile journey along Route 66 in November of 2008 that took the author on the Fort El Reno (Oklahoma) Ghost Tour, the last tour of the Fort’s season.

Connie will also be at Table #164 (Quadrant #2) on Saturday, June 12, from 10 to 2, and on Sunday, June 13th, from 2 to 6 p.m., at Printers Row in Chicago, downtown on Dearborn Street.

Wilson is a long-time writer (54 years) of both nonfiction and fiction, with a teaching career spanning 41 years  spent as adjunct faculty at 6 IA/IL colleges. She has published 8 books covering many genres. There’s literally “something for everyone” in her books published by 6  small independent publishers since 2002.

She began writing at age 10 for her hometown (Independence, Iowa) newspaper and continued writing in high school, college and beyond, while studying at Iowa, Berkeley, Northern Illinois University and the University of Chicago..

Connie attended the University of Iowa on a Ferner-Hearst Journalism Scholarship and graduated as an English major with a Journalism minor. She taught writing both to junior high school students and  to college students  in  writing classes at every college in the Illinois/Iowa Quad Cities. She has also interviewed many famous writers for publication, including Kurt Vonnegut,  John Irving, David Morrell, Anne Perry, William F. Nolan, Frederik Pohl and Joe Hill. Recently, she attended the Hawaii Writers’ Conference and she will be at Table 164 at Printers Row on June 12 and June 13. On May 8^th she helped head up the First Annual Quad City Book Fair in Davenport, Iowa.

Wilson’s early writing was primarily for 7 newspapers, including 15 years (1970-1985) spent serving as the film and book critic for the Quad City Times (Davenport, IA) while employed full-time as a teacher at Silvis (IL) Junior High School. In 1987 Connie founded the second Sylvan Learning Center in the state of Iowa (Bettendorf, Iowa) and in 1995, she founded a Prometric Testing Center. She served as CEO of both businesses while also writing humor columns for the Moline (Illinois) Dispatch and raising 2 children with her husband of 43 years, Craig.

Today, she writes regularly for 7 blogs, including Associated Content, which named her its Content Producer of the Year for her political coverage during the 2008 presidential campaign (AC is a Top 50 blog and was recently bought by Yahoo). She also has her own blog, www.WeeklyWilson.com. You can find more information about the author at www.ConnieCWilson.com.

Today, Connie continues to  review film and television for www.GetYourGoodNews.com , an online newspaper in the Quad Cities, and she has written for www.blogforiowa.com (archived); www.speakaboutit.com (archived); www.JollyJo.com (second coming stories); and www.helium.com (archived). On March 20th of this year, Connie was named the Writer of the Year by the (Davenport, Iowa) Midwest Writing Center, receiving its David R. Collins Memorial Award.

With the sale of both her businesses in 2002, Connie (Corcoran) Wilson has turned her attention to writing longer works. She has published 6 books since 2002 and 8, total (none of them self-published).

Her most recent release is the third book (Volume III) in a trilogy of true ghost stories set along Route 66, entitled Ghostly Tales of Route 66. (www.GhostlyTalesofRoute66.com). The books are PG-rated, small and amply illustrated, beginning in Chicago with Volume I and moving along the Mother Road as far as Oklahoma. Volume II picks up in Ft. Smith, Arkansas, site of an earlier version of the route, and takes the reader to Arizona. The final volume (Vol. III) goes from Arizona to California and was just released on June 4th.

On May 27^th, Connie was at  BookExpo America signing copies of her short story collection Hellfire & Damnation (www.HellfireandDamnationtheBook.com), a collection of short stories with the unifying theme of  the sins punished at each of the 9 circles of Hell in Dante’s Inferno. With an introduction by William F. Nolan, the 15-story collection has been widely praised and is nominated for the Horror Writers’ Association Bram Stoker Award this year.

In 2004, Connie collected her previously published Dispatch humor columns to produce Both Sides Now, a collection of David Sedaris-like humorous essays. In December of 2008 Lachesis Published her first collaborative novel, a romantic sci-fi thriller entitled Out of Time (www.OutofTimetheNovel.com), which was pitched to the producer of the Transformers movies in Burbank, California in June.

By August, ARCs (Advanced Reader Copies) of It Came from the ‘70s: From ‘The Godfather’ to ‘Apocalypse Now’ will be released from a small Rhode Island publisher (The Merry Blacksmith). The book is a 250 page nonfiction compilation of 50 movie reviews Connie wrote for the Quad City Times between 1970 to 1979, with an illustration every 3 pages, major cast, and interactive trivia (“Who did the studio really want to play Rocky in the movie of the same name?” Answers are upside down on the page; no fair cheating.)

As she said of the book, “Each review is like a tiny time capsule; the book could never be written this way today, as the reviews were written when  movie classics like The Godfather, Star Wars, Close Encounters of the Third Kind and Alien were new. It might mention that Sally Field was on Johnny Carson that night, talking about Alien, for instance.”

Stop by Drury Designs and get a signed copy of Connie’s books. The ghost book trilogy, if purchased as a set of 3m receives a $5 discount from the individual price of $9.95. Check the blogs above, as video trailers appear there for  Hellfire & Damnation and Out of Time.

Since 2004, Connie has also been the owner of a condo in the Central Station District of Chicago (Lakeside on the Park), keeping her in touch with her 14-month old twin granddaughters, who live with her son, Scott and his wife, Jessica, in Bridgeport.

http://edelweiss.abovethetreeline.com/ProductDetailPage.aspx?audienceGroup=6098&sku=1935590073

 Follow that link and read about the book I’m taking to the BEA, “Hellfire and Damnation.” I’ll be signing on May 27th at 2 p.m.