Month: August 2011 Page 1 of 2

Steve Jobs’ Quotes for Life and Living It

On August 28, 2011

An article created of Steve Jobs’ quotes, mostly taken from a speech to the graduating class at Stanford, crossed my desk and I want to share some of them with you.

These from the departing Chairman of Apple, who is battling cancer, as he has been for some time:

1) “About finding work: Don’t settle. Find work you love.”

2) “Almost everything—all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure—these things just fall away in the fact of death, leaving only what is truly important.”

3) “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.”

4) “Apple’s goal isn’t to make money. Our goal is to design and develop and bring to market good products…We trust as a consequence of that, people will like them, and, as another consequence, we’ll make some money. But we’re really clear about what our goals are.”

5) (1984, on the release of the Macintosh computer): “We’re gambling on our vision, and we would rather do that than make ‘me too’ products. Let some other companies do that. For us, it’s always the next dream.”

6) (On being fired by Apple) “It was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life…It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.”

7) “Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me…Going to bed at night saying ‘We’ve done something wonderful. That’s what matters to me.’”

8) “I want to put a ding in the Universe.”

9) ““Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

“We don’t get a chance to do that many things, and every one should be really excellent…Because this is our life. Life is brief, and then you die, you know?”

Ryan Gosling: The Hottest Actor Currently Working in Hollywood

By Connie Wilson

On August 28, 2011

In Interviews, Movies, Pop Culture

Ryan Gosling: now appearing in a movie theater near you.

Ryan Gosling, who turned 31 on November 12, 2011, is in George Clooney’s new film “The Ides of March,” which is to open the 68th Venice Film Festival on August 31, 2011. Clooney both acts and directs in the film, portraying the fictional Governor Morris, based on Dr. Howard Dean, in a run for the Democratic presidential nomination.

Gosling will play Governor Morris’ spokesperson, with Paul Giametti as a rival campaign manager. I was there at “the scream heard ‘round the world” (ValAir Ballroom, Des Moines, Iowa, 2004) and I look forward to seeing how the movie makes use of that climactic moment in the Dean run for the roses.

Gosling also just acted in his first romantic comedy (“Crazy, Stupid Love”) with Steve Carell and Emma Stone. Next up will be his turn as an action hero in “Drive.” It seems that the handsome, idiosyncratic actor can play anything and is everywhere, these days, just as it seemed as though Shia LaBoeuf was everywhere with the “Wall Street” reprise, “Transformers” and his role as Indiana Jones, Jr. just a year or so ago.

With Gosling, however, you get the sense that— like Marlon Brando whose accent he says he copied after living in Florida with Canadian roots (born in London and grew up in Cornwall, a mill town on the border of Quebec and the United States). —it’s more about the craft of acting.

Beginnings

Gosling has been acting since the age of 12, after winning a spot in the Disney troop alongside such future stars as Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera and Brittney Spears. He beat out 17,000 other child actors and, with his mother (Dad, a paper mill worker, had split), he and Mom moved to the Yogi Bear trailer park in Kissimmee. Ryan’s acting paid the bills and was the duo’s sole income.

Of his Disney years, Gosling has said, “I loved the idea that Walt Disney had this dream of a place and then made it a reality.” Later, in discussing the David Lynch film “Blue Velvet” Gosling says, “It’s so clearly one person’s singular dream. The fact that somebody believed in their idea so much to make it a reality…I want to be that kind of person.”

Gosling has become that kind of actor, with indie cred but also the bankability of roles such as his 2004 starring role in “The Notebook” opposite Rachel McAdams. After “The Notebook” hit, he took a job in a sandwich shop near where he lived. Why? “I’d never had a real job.” Noting that “The problem with Hollywood is that nobody works” he concludes that it would be “a much happier place” if actual work were performed there.

Oscar Nod

Gosling has done some serious work in films that were honored by the nomination committee of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences, most notably his leading actor nomination for the role of drug-addicted teacher Dan Dunne in “Half Nelson.” Most experts predicted he would be nominated last year for his leading role opposite Michelle Williams in “Blue Valentine,” but only his co-star got the nod. Of that film, Gosling says it’s the best film he’ll ever make and comments on Director Derek Clanfrance’s dedication in having the cast actually live together in a house, as a family, prior to shooting the film. Clanfrance had spent 12 years on the film, declaring it “the film that I was born to make” and he allowed his actors to improvise much of their dialogue. “They had so much to do, so much to say in it,” says Clanfrance.

“Blue Valentine”

As for Gosling, he appreciated the opportunity to become part of the dream of a happy couple whose marriage falls apart, saying, “I thought it was really smart of him (Clanfrance) to do that, because even though you don’t see it in the film—they’re not scenes in the movie—I think you can feel it.” He also commented on the onscreen chemistry, saying, “It’s a love story, you know, and physical intimacy is a part of that and we were trying to capture that in a way that was not gratuitous or trying too hard to be sexy or something.” Gosling felt another dream world had been created and said, “Michelle and I found it hard to take off our wedding bands when it was over. We’d built this castle and then had to tear it down.” He does note, “What I like about the film is that it leaves it open.”

By that, Gosling means the end of the film, where the young couple seems as though they could, conceivably, reconcile. Or not. In that way, “Blue Valentine’s” ending was similar to Nicole Kidman’s film “Rabbit Hole.” Kidman was Oscar-nominated as Best Actress last year in that film, which also leaves the viewer to decide if the couple, (whose son has been killed in an automobile accident), is going to survive the tragedy or not.

Hot, Hotter, Hottest

Gosling’s onscreen chemistry with his leading ladies has been remarked upon repeatedly. In “The Notebook,” his scenes with Rachel McAdams were so incendiary that they almost earned the film an ‘R” rating. After making “Murder by Numbers” with Sandra Bullock, the two were a couple from 2001 – 2002, despite the fact that Gosling was 22 at the time and Bullock 37, a 16-year age difference. (The 47-year-old Bullock is rumored to be dating another younger Ryan, the twelve years younger Ryan Reynolds, age 34, her co-star in “The Proposal,” who is just out of a brief marriage to Scarlett Johansson.)

Doing It His Way

In a career that, despite his relative youth, has been ongoing for 18 years, Gosling is making his mark, and he’s doing it his way, selecting films that are idiosyncratic, like “The Believers” (2001) or “Lars and the Real Girl” (2007) and then switching over to his most recent box office offerings.

As he said, “There’s this idea in Hollywood, and I’ve seen it work for people, where the unspoken rule is, ‘Do 2 for them and 1 for yourself.’ And that’s kind of considered a fact. I’ve never really found that to be true for me. I’ve gotten more opportunities out of working on things I believed in then I ever did on things that weren’t special to me.”

For this actor, who points to Gary Oldman as his favorite actor, that method works for him. And it works out quite well for his audiences, as well. It is rumored that he will reprise Michael York’s role as “The Sandman” who catches “Runners” in the film reboot of “Logan’s Run,” the ’70s movie made from the classic William F. Nolan book.

Whatever Gosling does, it will be interesting.

“Crazy, Stupid Love:” Who or What Is A Jonah Bobo and Why Has He Ruined This Movie

By Connie Wilson

On August 27, 2011

In Pop Culture, Reviews

“Crazy, Stupid Love” is the latest Steve Carell vehicle, co-starring the uber-cool Ryan Gosling, Julianne Moore and Emma Stone—seemingly the ingénue flavor of the month. The tagline for the movie is: “This is stupid.” I couldn’t have said it better.

I saw this movie the day it opened, but waited to write about it until I figured out why it didn’t work that well. Two words: Jonah Bobo.

What? You don’t know what a “Jonah Bobo” is? To answer that question, he’s the child actor hired to play Carell’s son Robbie (age 13). The young man delivers his lines well. No question about that. He’s just wrong for the part. He looks like neither of his film parents (Julianne Moore & Steve Carell), has a haircut like a sheepdog, is short and—let’s face it—somewhat androgynous. The entire subplot revolving around Robbie’s (Jonah Bobo’s) huge crush on the 4-years-older Jessica (Analeigh Tipton) is made ridiculous by the lumpy kid who, in certain light, could be mistaken for a girl. He has a very Jewish kid look about him, while, to the best of my knowledge, neither of the onscreen parents would qualify in that department.

The other flawed part of the film, as written by Dan Fogelman and directed by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa, is the finale scene. I won’t spoil that by saying anything other than that it involves a miniature golf prop and the writers just didn’t know when to quit with that scene. Over-the-top just barely describes it.

The best parts of the film come when Julianne Moore as Carell’s wife asks for a divorce. Reason given? She slept with David Lindhagen (Kevin Bacon). Carell is then taken under the wing of the womanizing Jacob Palmer (Ryan Gosling) who dispenses wisdom on being cool like, “Don’t wear New Balance sneakers ever.” Upon meeting Carell in a bar, Jacob says, “I don’t know if I should help you or euthanize you. Do you have any idea when you lost it?” Carell’s character of Cal says, “A strong case can be made for 1984.”

The theme rammed down our throats throughout the movie is that “When you find the one, you never give up.” Like father, like son, in that regard…only the son (Jonah Bobo) really ruined it for me. Marisa Tomei has a small part as Robbie’s English teacher and my spouse considered her scenes among the movie’s strongest. I liked the Jake-teaches-Cal parts and hated the ending. Waaay too many coincidences and over-the-top clichés stuffed into that ending, boys.

It was just crazy. And stupid.

Colin Quinn in “Long Story Short” in Chicago at the Broadway Playhouse

By Connie Wilson

On August 26, 2011

In Humor and Weird Wilson-isms, Reviews, Television

Chicago, IL, August 25, 2011 Colin Quinn, who spent 5 seasons as a cast member on “Saturday Night Live” has brought his one-man show “Long Story Short” to Chicago from the Helen Hayes Theater on Broadway and the Bleecker Street Theatre (Off-Broadway), where his one-man show played on August 25, 2011 at the Broadway Playhouse near Water Tower Place. The material involves a history of the world not unlike the one-man show Eddie Izzard used to perform (only not as funny) and is billed as “directed by Jerry Seinfeld,” a plot which has to help ticket sales. (There’s not a lot of Seinfeld-ian moments that show Jerry’s golden touch.) And, as noted by a different New York reviewer, Quinn, although a seasoned performer, seemed a bit uneasy on stage and did not interact well (or at all) with his audience.

Quinn always had a somewhat sarcastic personality on “SNL.” I don’t remember him doing much physical humor. His overview of the world, purporting to show how “the world has changed, but humankind has not” was improved by lighting designer Howell Binkley and production stage manager Daniel J. Kells, (among others.)

In other words, rather than come out onstage and stand there alone with a microphone, no props, and do jokes as most stand-up comics must, Quinn has chosen to perform amongst some prodigious props: a set that consists of an elaborate set of gold steps and pillars and a plasma screen that shows images of various countries and cities throughout history, which the comic then attempts to smoothly craft into a comedy routine. Covering all of history in 75 minutes can’t be easy. At the end of 75 minutes, I felt as though the reason the audience (which was on its feet) got no encore is that Quinn had no more material to share. And what about the material he did share?

Quinn had a few worthwhile one-liners, most of them courtesy of the Greeks. “An unexamined life is not worth living,” is followed up by “An examined life is not that interesting, either.” Timely comments about the stock market and the Greeks invention of theater follow. [To hear Quinn tell it, the Greeks only invented theater so that they could diss their neighbors with impunity; then their kids got hooked on it (television analogy)], which was followed by another classic rip-off: “I know now that I know nothing.” (Sophocles). [There’s no joke there, but that’s fairly representative of much of the show.

Yes, there are some funny throwaway one-liners and nobody knows how tough it is to write 75 minutes of onstage (or offstage) funny better than me (“Laughing through Life” is my latest book-length attempt at humor, and there’s an earlier book as well). So I’ll give him credit for making a good attempt, but I just kept thinking of Eddie Izzard’s brilliant HBO Special and, frankly, Eddie Izzard’s brilliant show is a hard act to follow by a less-talented mere mortal, who seems to be just a regular guy who likes to crack wise a lot and is not wearing attention-getting women’s clothing while delivering his set.

Quinn, a Catholic by birth, referenced going to Confession in a dark booth and likened it to “telling your secrets to a man who might have a poster of Justin Bieber on his wall.” He suggested that, given the Catholic Church’s recent troubles with pedophile priests, “They could lose the kneeling for a couple of years until things calm down.” At this point, Quinn was actually kneeling onstage. This foray into physical humor was atypical. Quinn isn’t really the kind of guy like the late great Richard Pryor or the current Dane Cook who does much physical humor. When he does, it seems rather forced and unnatural. It’s not his forte, and it showed, as when he referenced people who scratch themselves or poke you while you’re talking to them.

During the 75-minute act (no intermission), which began promptly at 7:30 p.m. and ended just as promptly at 9:00 p.m., with no encore, Quinn pretty much hit all of the past and present hot-spots in the world: Greek, Rome, Spain, England, Ireland, Israel (“Shalom means hello and good-bye because the Jews, wherever they go, get chased out immediately.” Made me wonder about Hawaiians, and “Aloha,” which also has that distinction). Holland, the Mayans, the Aztecs, Russia (“experts at perfecting depression”), Sudan, Canada (“Nobody wants to live there. There’s something about Canada that creeps people out. It’s like it’s 8 inches to the left. Even their national anthem is dismissive: “Oh, Canada.”)…Most of the world comes in for some comic jabs.

With lines (re the Australians) like “God bless those alcoholics…There are 6 planets closer to us than Australia is right now” and comparisons of the world today to a bar at 3:30 in the morning (“Iraq is in the parking lot. He says he has a gun. He’s talking shit!”) and ripping off those oh-so-hilarious Greeks time and time again (“We are what we repeatedly do,” Aristotle), Quinn has woven a Cliff’s Notes, or, in this case, a Quinn’s Notes version of history that has its moments.

Just not enough of them.

Checker Cab Limo Making Cross Country Trip

By Connie Wilson

On August 21, 2011

In Humor and Weird Wilson-isms, travel

Checker Limo in Chicago.

An uncle and nephew duo driving a Checker cab limo (25 feet, 8 doors) from California to New York visited me in Chicago, where I turned over the “keys to the condo” to the pair, so that they could enjoy Chicago Saturday, Sunday, Monday, leaving on Tuesday for Kalamazoo, Michigan, where the yellow vehicles used to be made.

George, 62, said that this particular car had been built in something like 1959 and that the vehicles were used as cabs in Alaska, where he first saw them. He was smitten with the idea of purchasing one and finally found one at an old car dealer’s in California, where the duo flew to retrieve the massive automobile and begin making a cross-country trek. I think I got into the act, somehow, because I had made the “Ghostly Tales of Route 66” trip along Route 66.

Patrick, me, and a Checker Limo.

At any rate, it was great fun meeting and greeting George and Patrick and their huge and hard-to-park car. It wasn’t too difficult figuring out where to put George and Patrick, but the car was an entirely different matter!

The Kalamazoo, Michigan paper did a story on the pair, since the cars used to be built there. I called the Chicago “Tribune” but they were underwhelmed with the story and photo op. Not me, though. I haven’t had this much excitement since I did the Oscar Mayer WeinerMobile story!

Two nice new friends who, I hope, had a great time in the Windy City.

Checker Limo Makes Cross-Country Trip

Obama Visits Atkinson, Illinois

By Connie Wilson

On August 18, 2011

In Local, Of Local (Quad Cities') Interest, Politics

The locals watch Obama on television from the Wyffels' Seed Factory in Atkinson, Illinois on Wednesday, August 17, 2011.

I took off for Atkinson, Illinois at 10:30 a.m. President Obama was to visit this village of 1100 people at 11:30 a.m. After 2 presidential campaigns, where the time of arrival is usually off by at least a half hour (His 3:30 stop in Alpha, for instance, did not occur until 5:00 p.m.) I was pretty sure that I’d beat the President to the flag-draped town 8 miles east of Geneseo.

I drove past Geneseo on Interstate 80, an approximate 30 to 40 minute drive, in the Grasshopper (my 2005 green Prius) and, at each overpass, I noticed police with police and highway patrol cars above me. At each turnaround there was a large orange piece of heavy duty equipment that would prevent anyone from doing a “turnaround”—even if turnarounds were not specifically prohibited by signage.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011.

So, picture me humming “dum de dum dum” (although I was actually listening to the late, great Amy Winehouse sing “no, no, no” to the idea of going to rehab. )Up came the exit for Atkinson (pop. 1100) and I exited. I made the turn onto the overpass to the left only to have a highway patrolman frantically wave at me to “go back.”

Initially, I began back-pedaling like a kid stung by a wasp, but then I thought, “Wait a minute. How am I going to get into Atkinson if this is the exit and this guy won’t let me use the road?” (At that point, I had not yet thought of back roads.) I put the Grasshopper into Drive and slowly and cautiously inched forward to ask the nice highway patrolman where he suggested I should go. he didn’t say, “To hell,” but he might as well have, given the level of hysteria he projected.

“You’re on the entrance ramp!” he screamed, quite unnecessarily. “You’re just ahead of the motorcade!”

This was exactly as I had hoped would be the case: me waiting for a brief time, rather than spending my whole morning standing around in the hot sun waiting for a large black bus to breeze by me. One man I spoke to later said he had been outside since 8:00 a.m.

Federal stimulus money helped underwrite the construction of the village's new fire station, currently under construction.

I finally backed up and took the ramp heading east towards Chicago, not quite sure what my next move should be. As I was speeding along on Interstate 80 to the east, I saw one of the turn-arounds that had, for some inexplicable reason, not been barricaded by large orange trucks. Despite signs suggesting that I not make a turn-around, I was headed in the wrong direction and getting nowhere fast, so I chanced it. Now I was, at least, heading back toward the overpass I was not being allowed to use to enter Atkinson. Since the first Smokey (yes, they were wearing those peaked hats) had been quite set against allowing me access to the delights of the village of Atkinson, I needed to figure out how I was going to access the town. I didn’t expect to be among the 300 people crowded into the Wyffel’s Seed Facility: those seats went fast and people got in line as early as 2:00 a.m. and still got shut out. I just planned to wander around in town and see what the mood of the populace was.
Would there be demonstrators, for or against the president’s visit? Would there be unpleasantness of the sort I had recently been subjected to, where a know-nothing graduate of Jefferson High School (in Independence, Iowa), a Bible-thumping seller of reverse mortgage programs who was “so proud” to be in the industry had called me both “stupid” and “godless” because I was not down with the Republican presidential candidates. I could envision some of these reverse mortgage engineers (think Fred Thompson), driving trucks with gun racks, getting in my face (or someone else’s face who had actually managed to gain admission to the tiny town) and being unpleasant. This was what I hoped to find out: just how unpleasant or pleasant would the populace be? What would the mood be “on the ground.”

I began heading back towards the overpass. It occurred to me that, since the first Smokey the Bear policeman had told me that the motorcade was right behind me, I could perhaps get a snapshot of the motorcade on its way across that very ramp, heading into town (something I was not having much luck doing.)

I drove as slowly as I could drive while on an Interstate and, about a mile from the overpass, while braking sharply, 2 cameras 2 maps, 2 notebooks and my purse all fell off the passenger’s side seat and fell to the floor. Turning on my signal, I pulled over to the shoulder of I-80 to pick up my camera equipment, et. al. By the time my head came up from under the dashboard, I was greeted by the sight of yet another Smokey the Bear look-alike burning rubber while accelerating his highway patrol car in reverse, heading towards the Grasshopper at warp speed.

This conversation took place with the highway patrolman guy, who was as impressed with his lot in life as anyone I’ve met.

“MA’AM! WE CAN’T HAVE THIS!”

“I know. My cheap Canon fell on top of my expensive Nikon!” (me)

(Smokey) “NO! I MEAN WE CAN’T HAVE YOU HERE!”

(Me) “But I AM here. I’m just waiting till the motorcade goes by so I can get into town.”

(Smokey) “WE CAN’T HAVE THAT! MOVE ALONG!”

(Me) “Can I just pop out and take a picture of the overpass as the motorcade drives into town?”

(Smokey) Dumfounded. Incredulous look.

So, I once again drove down Interstate 80, this time driving back to the west, towards Geneseo. Since I was still laboring under the misconception that Obama had spent the night at the Blackhawk Hotel in downtown Davenport and, therefore, would be coming from the west, I briefly considered staying in the parking lot of the convenience store at the intersection and taking a photo from that vantage point.

Then I remembered that there was a back road to access Geneseo. I reasoned there must be a back highway to access Atkinson and I plugged in the Atkinson Town Hall as my destination of choice. Sure enough, Highway 6 would take me to Atkinson, and I began following the nice lady’s voice to drive town the flag-lined road and roam the small village.

As I drove aimlessly about in Atkinson, I was struck by the small-town look and feel of the boulevard-like main street, which, I noticed, had a corner tap that was open for business. I parked my car and strolled in to order a Diet Coke and test the waters.

There was a bar stool open at the bar, next to a couple, Mr. and Mrs. VanOpdorp, who lived in Atkinson for years but now live in Rock Island.

“My grandfather came through here on the train when he arrived from Holland. He got off the train at this very bar, which has been open since the 1800’s, and had his first beer in America and he just decided to stay.” So, if he had bought his first beer in New Mexico, Mr. VanOpdorp might have been living in a much warmer climate.

Without asking anyone’s political designation, I asked Mr. and Mrs. VanOpDorp and others seated near me in the bar who they liked in the 2012 presidential race. “Do you think the Republicans will nominate Romney to run against Obama?” I asked, as the two plasma TV sets behind the bar showed President Obama’s remarks, live, on KWQC Channel 6.

“Naaah. The Republicans don’t have a dog in the fight, so far,” said Mr. VanOpdorp.

“You don’t think the Republicans have any good candidates?”

“Naaah.” Mr. VanOpdorp and his wife both shook their heads no.

“What about Governor Perry of Texas?”

“Naaah.”

Apparently, the crowd inside the Corner Tap in Atkinson was either firmly Democratic or simply disinterested in the outcome of the election, but everyone in the bar was very interested in what President Barack had to say this day. All were listening intently and respectfully.

Later, on the streets of Atkinson, fathers held their young children on their shoulders to catch a glimpse of the President of the United States as he drove out of town in his big black bus, waving to all of us standing on the sidewalks waiting to catch a glimpse of him.

Really, Republican Party? Really?

By Connie Wilson

On August 14, 2011

In Local, Of Local (Quad Cities') Interest, Politics

In the wake of Michele Bachmann’s pulling out all the stops, including bringing in Travis Tritt and “meat sundaes” to her tent at the Iowa Straw Poll, is it any wonder that, after 17,000 votes were cast, she was pronounced the winner by a slight margin (200 votes or so) over Ron Paul, who also had his “Dump Bernanke” tank and the “dollar slide” AND the best tent position. Add to that Bachmann’s claims to being “a 7th generation Iowan” and it doesn’t seem too surprising that she won the straw poll, which is about as unscientific as you can get and seldom predicts the winner, anyway.

That is why this line from Matt Strawn, Iowa Republican Party chairman, seems disingenuous: “I think for the first time in a long time, there’s probably more uncertainty over what the ultimate finish will be in Ames.” My reaction to that: “Ha!” I wrote a piece that appeared yesterday that pointed all the above out and drew the obvious conclusion that Bachmann would do well. She did. What is Matt Strawn smoking or eating over there in Ames?

SEC Requests Documents of Deere Related to Possible Violations

By Connie Wilson

On August 11, 2011

In Local, Of Local (Quad Cities') Interest, Politics

If you missed the notice in the Chicago “Tribune” today (Thursday, August 11, 2011), the Securities and Exchange Commission on July 25 requested documents of Deere & Company regarding a possible violation of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act in Russia. A Deere spokesman told Bloomberg that the company is cooperating with the SEC request and gave no further details.

It would be nice to see what candidates Deere bankrolled in the recent political elections and which they will bankroll in 2012.

Spider Monkey Alert!

By Connie Wilson

On August 9, 2011

In Humor and Weird Wilson-isms, travel, Uncategorized

A close girlfriend, just returned from a 3 month visit to France, explained how her basic sense of honesty caused her to declare that she did, in fact, have a “food item” in her luggage at customs in Minneapolis. The food item in question was a sealed can of pate someone had given her as a parting gift.

She was ushered into a large room with various peoples who also had “food items” and got to watch surly customs agents launching various fruits and vegetables at bins along the wall for hours. Add to that the delights of experiencing a drug-sniffing dog! After the first “food room,” there was (apparently) a second food room and, well, the connecting flight didn’t allow for hours spent watching surly customs inspectors launch miscellaneous fruits at garbage bins.

When it finally came time for her to “declare” the precise food item she had, the customs agent just grunted and passed her on through…too late to make a connecting flight to Des Moines, I think.

Reminds me of the time we were asked, when re-entering the country from Cancun, if we had had any contact with “livestock” and I truthfully piped up, “What about the spider monkeys that climbed all over us at Coba?” Despite my husband’s best attempts to muzzle me, much merriment ensued. These are the sorts of adventures I relate in “Laughing through Life” because, really, you have to laugh or else you’d cry.

“It Hurts All the Way to God”

By Connie Wilson

On August 4, 2011

In Books, Humor and Weird Wilson-isms, Of Local (Quad Cities') Interest

"Laughing through Life:" enough laughs to keep you from yawning.

With the recent release (as a paperback) of “Laughing through Life” and the various anecdotes that make up this stroll down memory lane, I felt it apropos to share with you an amusing anecdote that is similar to those in this book

Here’s a new one for you. My nephew’s 4-year-old daughter, Sophia, decided to do a header by shoving her tiny body through a play tube that was never meant to hold a 4-year-old. She did a tremendous “clunk” to the floor below, where she immediately moaned and began crying. (Fortunately, she landed on a carpeted surface).

Her father and mother, Chris and D.J., ran to her side and asked her if she was “Ok” and did it hurt.

She was crying intermittently and then looked up at us and said, “It hurts all the way to God.”

[Out of the mouths of Babes. OR from “Laughing through Life!” (Try it, you’ll like it!)]